Telehealth Services

We continue to welcome new clients to schedule appointments with the best match within our group. All of our appointments are virtual: care when you need it, on your terms.

At Frey & Associates we have found that both our clients and clinicians genuinely enjoy, and prefer, telehealth services. Why telehealth? Click the button below to learn more about why we provide our services virtually.

Please reach out to see if we can be of help getting you scheduled with one of our clinicians, or if we can connect you to additional resources. We strive to respond to all inquiries as quickly as possible.

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How Therapy Can Help Me: 3 Things You Might Get Out of Therapy

A lot of people think about starting therapy and wonder:

“But what would I actually get out of it?”

It’s a fair question. Therapy can feel abstract if you’ve never experienced it. It’s not just talking, and it’s not just advice. It’s a space that, over time, can change how you understand yourself and move through your life.

Here are three meaningful things many people begin to gain from therapy:

1. Clarity: Understanding What’s Actually Going On

Sometimes the hardest part isn’t the problem—it’s not knowing what the problem is.

You might feel:

  • overwhelmed but not sure why
  • stuck in patterns you can’t explain
  • reactive in ways that don’t make sense
  • disconnected from yourself

Therapy helps you slow things down and look at your experiences with more clarity.

You start to notice:

  • patterns in your relationships
  • triggers you didn’t recognize before
  • where your responses come from
  • what’s underneath your stress or anxiety

Clarity doesn’t solve everything overnight. But it helps things make sense—and that’s often the first step toward change.

2. Tools: Ways to Actually Handle What You’re Feeling

Therapy isn’t just insight. It’s also practical.

You learn ways to:

  • regulate your nervous system when you’re overwhelmed
  • respond instead of react
  • set boundaries more clearly
  • communicate more effectively
  • manage anxiety, stress, or emotional intensity

These aren’t one-size-fits-all techniques. They’re tailored to you—your patterns, your history, your needs.

Over time, you build a toolkit you can use outside of sessions, in real life.

3. A Different Relationship With Yourself

One of the most meaningful shifts in therapy is internal.

You may begin to:

  • trust your own thoughts and feelings more
  • speak to yourself with less criticism
  • feel less responsible for everyone else
  • tolerate discomfort without shutting down
  • make decisions with more confidence

Therapy isn’t about becoming a completely different person.

It’s about feeling more like yourself—and more steady within that.

A Gentle Reminder

You don’t have to be in crisis to benefit from therapy.

Many people come in simply feeling:

  • “off”
  • overwhelmed
  • stuck
  • unsure what they need

That’s enough.

You don’t need the perfect words or a clear explanation to start.
You just need a place to begin.

frey & associates: Offering virtual mental health therapy and counseling across Illinois. Specializing in anxiety, depression, couples counseling, and relationship and health-focused therapy. Virtual therapy offers convenient, accessible mental health support from the comfort of your own space. Our approach is engaging, active, and solution-focused to help clients build lasting change and emotional well-being. Learn more here; book a free consult today.

Copyright © Melissa A. Frey, LCSW 2026. All rights reserved.

Do I Really Need Therapy? (Or Is This Just How Life Feels?)

More people are thinking about therapy than ever before.

But they’re not always starting in crisis.

They’re starting in uncertainty.

You might recognize thoughts like:

  • “Do I need therapy if I’m functioning?”
  • “Is this enough of a reason to go?”
  • “Is therapy even worth it?”

These questions are incredibly common.

And they make sense.

You Don’t Have to Be in Crisis

One of the biggest misconceptions about therapy is that you need a clear, urgent problem to justify it.

But many people reach out when things feel more like:

  • consistently overwhelmed
  • mentally busy all the time
  • stuck in the same patterns
  • disconnected or “off”
  • unsure what they need, but knowing something isn’t working

You might still be showing up to work.
Maintaining relationships.
Getting things done.

From the outside, things look fine.

But internally, it feels heavier than it should.

That’s often where therapy begins.

Functioning Doesn’t Mean You Feel Well

A lot of high-capacity people normalize stress because they’re used to handling a lot.

They think:

  • “At least I’m managing.”
  • “This is just part of being an adult.”
  • “Other people have it worse.”

But functioning and feeling okay are not the same thing.

You can be productive and still feel:

  • anxious
  • mentally exhausted
  • stuck in overthinking
  • unsure of yourself

Therapy helps close that gap.

Why It’s Hard to Take the First Step

Even when therapy sounds helpful, people hesitate.

Not because they don’t need support—but because:

  • they’re used to figuring things out on their own
  • they’re unsure what therapy will actually be like
  • they question whether it’s “worth it”
  • they don’t know if they’ll find the right fit

So instead, they think about it.
Research it.
Revisit the idea later.

This can go on for months—or longer.

Is Therapy Worth It?

That depends on what you’re hoping for.

Therapy isn’t just about fixing problems.

It can help you:

  • understand patterns that keep repeating
  • reduce mental noise and overthinking
  • respond more intentionally instead of reacting
  • feel more steady in your day-to-day life
  • build a clearer sense of direction

For many people, the shift isn’t dramatic—it’s consistent.

Things feel less heavy.
Decisions feel clearer.
Your internal experience becomes easier to manage.

A Gentle Reminder

You don’t need a perfect explanation.
You don’t need a crisis.
You don’t need to wait until things get worse.

Sometimes therapy starts simply because
you’re ready to not carry everything alone.

And that’s a valid place to begin.

—

frey & associates: Offering virtual mental health therapy and counseling across Illinois. Specializing in anxiety, depression, couples counseling, and relationship and health-focused therapy. Virtual therapy offers convenient, accessible mental health support from the comfort of your own space. Our approach is engaging, active, and solution-focused to help clients build lasting change and emotional well-being. Learn more here; book a free consult today.

Copyright © Melissa A. Frey, LCSW 2026. All rights reserved.

all about therapy: who does it help and when to reach out

Many people wonder if therapy is right for them, if they will find it helpful, or when the “right” time is to reach out. These are some common questions people have when considering reaching out for a consultation or booking an appointment. Therapy can benefit everyone. Whether you’re facing specific challenges or simply want to grow, reflect, or improve your well-being, counseling provides a supportive space to understand yourself, build resilience, and live more intentionally. You don’t need to be in crisis to deserve support.

People go to therapy for many reasons, including:

  • Managing mental health concerns like anxiety, depression, or trauma

  • Navigating life transitions such as divorce, loss, or career changes

  • Improving relationships with partners, family, or coworkers

  • Coping with stress, burnout, or overwhelm

  • Understanding themselves better and building self-esteem

  • Processing grief or past experiences

  • Learning healthy coping strategies and emotional regulation

How does therapy help?
Therapy helps by providing a safe, supportive space to explore your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors with a trained professional. It can help you gain clarity, manage emotions, build coping skills, improve relationships, and heal from past experiences. Through personalized strategies and insight, counseling empowers you to make meaningful, lasting changes in your life.

When is a good time to reach out?
A good time to reach out is anytime you feel stuck, overwhelmed, curious about personal growth, or simply want support. You don’t need to wait for a crisis—starting therapy when things feel manageable can help you build tools and insight before challenges grow. The best time is when you’re ready to invest in your mental and emotional well-being.

frey & associates: Offering virtual mental health therapy and counseling across Illinois. Specializing in anxiety, depression, couples counseling, and relationship and health-focused therapy. Virtual therapy offers convenient, accessible mental health support from the comfort of your own space. Our approach is engaging, active, and solution-focused to help clients build lasting change and emotional well-being. Learn more here; book a free consult today.

Copyright © Melissa A. Frey, LCSW 2026. All rights reserved.

Sitting With Distress: What Do I Do With These Feelings?

One of the most common questions people ask in therapy is surprisingly simple:
“What do I do with these feelings?”

When emotions feel intense—anxiety, sadness, anger, grief, overwhelm—the instinct is often to make them go away as quickly as possible. We try to distract ourselves, fix the situation, analyze the feeling, or talk ourselves out of it.

But sometimes the most helpful step isn’t solving the emotion.
It’s learning how to sit with it.

Why Distress Feels So Uncomfortable

Humans are wired to move away from discomfort. When something feels emotionally painful, the brain interprets it as a threat and pushes us toward action.

We might:

  • overthink the situation

  • seek reassurance repeatedly

  • distract ourselves constantly

  • avoid the feeling entirely

  • try to “logic” our way out of it

These responses are understandable. Your nervous system is trying to protect you.

The challenge is that emotions often need space and acknowledgment before they can settle.

Sitting With Feelings Doesn’t Mean Doing Nothing

When therapists talk about “sitting with distress,” it doesn’t mean resigning yourself to suffering or ignoring what’s happening.

Instead, it means allowing the emotion to exist without immediately trying to eliminate it.

You might try:

  • noticing the feeling in your body

  • naming the emotion (“This is anxiety,” “This is sadness”)

  • slowing your breathing

  • reminding yourself that emotions rise and fall naturally

Often, the feeling becomes less overwhelming once it’s acknowledged rather than resisted.

Emotions Are Temporary

One reason distress feels so intense is that the mind often assumes the feeling will last forever.

But emotions are not permanent states. They move and change over time, especially when we stop fighting them.

Think of emotions like waves: they rise, peak, and eventually recede.

The goal isn’t to prevent the wave from coming—it’s to learn how to stay afloat while it passes.

You Don’t Have to Understand Everything Immediately

Sometimes we try to analyze emotions before they’ve had a chance to settle.

Questions like:

  • “Why do I feel this way?”

  • “What does this mean?”

  • “How do I fix it?”

can create more mental pressure.

Clarity often comes after regulation, not before it.

In many cases, the first step is simply acknowledging:
“Something feels difficult right now.”

That’s enough to begin.

Gentle Ways to Support Yourself

If you’re sitting with distress, small supportive actions can help:

  • step outside for fresh air

  • drink water or hold something warm

  • take a short walk

  • write a few thoughts down

  • talk with someone you trust

These actions don’t eliminate emotions, but they help your nervous system stay steady while the feelings move through.

A Reminder

You don’t need to eliminate every difficult feeling.

Part of emotional health is learning that you can experience discomfort and still be okay.

Distress may feel urgent, but it is rarely permanent.

Sometimes the most compassionate thing you can do for yourself is simply sit with the moment and trust that it will shift.

And over time, it will.

frey & associates: Offering virtual mental health therapy and counseling across Illinois. Specializing in anxiety, depression, couples counseling, and relationship and health-focused therapy. Virtual therapy offers convenient, accessible mental health support from the comfort of your own space. Our approach is engaging, active, and solution-focused to help clients build lasting change and emotional well-being. Learn more here; book a free consult today.

Copyright © Melissa A. Frey, LCSW 2026. All rights reserved.

When You Don’t Know What You’re Feeling

When You Don’t Know What You’re Feeling

There are seasons when emotions are loud and obvious. And then there are seasons when everything feels… unclear.

You’re not in crisis.
You’re not thriving either.
You’re functioning. But something feels slightly off.

You might notice:

  • Irritability without a clear cause

  • Low motivation

  • Trouble focusing

  • A sense of restlessness

  • Or just a vague heaviness

When feelings aren’t dramatic, we often dismiss them. We tell ourselves we’re “fine.” We push through. We assume clarity will come later.

But emotional fog is still information.

Not All Distress Is Urgent

We tend to think emotions have to be intense to be valid. But subtle misalignment can be just as important as acute pain.

Sometimes you’re not overwhelmed.
You’re under-supported.

Sometimes you’re not anxious.
You’re overextended.

Sometimes you’re not unmotivated.
You’re tired in a way sleep doesn’t fix.

Naming the right thing matters.

Try This Instead of “What’s Wrong With Me?”

When something feels off, the instinct is often self-criticism.

Instead, try asking:

  • What has my nervous system been carrying lately?

  • What feels unfinished?

  • Where am I overcompensating?

  • What would make this week 5% easier?

You don’t need a full emotional breakthrough.
You just need enough awareness to adjust slightly.

Small Adjustments Count

When you don’t know what you’re feeling, focus on regulation over resolution.

  • Simplify one commitment

  • Go to bed earlier twice this week

  • Take one walk without multitasking

  • Say no once

  • Ask for help in one small way

Clarity often follows steadiness.

A Gentle Reminder

You don’t have to wait for full exhaustion to justify slowing down.

If something feels off, that’s enough to pay attention.

You are allowed to respond to subtle signals, not just emergencies.

Sometimes growth looks like catching yourself earlier than in past moments.

frey & associates: Offering virtual mental health therapy and counseling across Illinois. Specializing in anxiety, depression, couples counseling, and relationship and health-focused therapy. Virtual therapy offers convenient, accessible mental health support from the comfort of your own space. Our approach is engaging, active, and solution-focused to help clients build lasting change and emotional well-being. Learn more here; book a free consult today.

Copyright © Melissa A. Frey, LCSW 2026. All rights reserved.

How to Find a Hobby (Without Turning It Into Another Obligation)

Many people say they “don’t have a hobby,” but what they often mean is that nothing has stuck, nothing felt fun enough, or everything somehow turned into work. Finding a hobby isn’t about discovering a hidden talent or committing to something forever. It’s about giving yourself permission to explore without expectations.

A hobby is simply something you do because it feels engaging, soothing, curious, or enjoyable—not because you’re good at it or because it leads anywhere.

Start With What Feels Neutral or Slightly Interesting

You don’t need passion to begin. You just need mild curiosity.

Instead of asking, “What do I love?” try:

  • What makes time pass a little faster?

  • What feels calming or grounding?

  • What did I enjoy before life got busy or serious?

Even a small spark counts.

Let It Be Low-Stakes

One of the fastest ways to lose interest is to put pressure on yourself to be good at something. Hobbies don’t need outcomes. They don’t need consistency. They don’t need to be shared.

You’re allowed to:

  • try something once

  • be bad at it

  • drop it

  • come back later

Exploration is not failure.

Match the Hobby to Your Energy

Different seasons of life call for different kinds of hobbies. When energy is low, look for things that are:

  • repetitive

  • sensory

  • familiar

  • soothing

This might be coloring, puzzles, organizing small spaces, walking, crafting, or listening to audiobooks while doing something with your hands.

When energy is higher, curiosity may pull you toward learning, building, or experimenting.

Pay Attention to Your Body, Not Just Your Mind

A good hobby often shows up in the body before the mind labels it as “fun.”

Notice:

  • Do your shoulders drop?

  • Do you feel less rushed?

  • Do you lose track of time?

  • Do you feel steadier afterward?

Those are signs of nervous system regulation—not just enjoyment.

Release the Need for It to “Make Sense”

Your hobby doesn’t have to align with your identity, career, or personality. It doesn’t need to be impressive, productive, or useful.

It just needs to be yours.

Some hobbies look like:

  • rearranging shelves

  • experimenting in the kitchen

  • walking the same route every day

  • making things that don’t get finished

  • learning something and then letting it go

All of that counts.

A Gentle Place to Begin

If you’re not sure where to start, try this:
Pick one small activity.
Set a short amount of time.
Notice how you feel during and after.

That’s it.

You’re not committing to a hobby. You’re gathering information about yourself.

A Closing Reminder

You don’t need a hobby to prove you’re interesting or well-rounded. But you do deserve moments that belong to you—moments that aren’t measured, evaluated, or optimized.

Curiosity is enough to begin.

frey & associates: Offering virtual mental health therapy and counseling across Illinois. Specializing in anxiety, depression, couples counseling, and relationship and health-focused therapy. Virtual therapy offers convenient, accessible mental health support from the comfort of your own space. Our approach is engaging, active, and solution-focused to help clients build lasting change and emotional well-being. Learn more here; book a free consult today.

Copyright © Melissa A. Frey, LCSW 2026. All rights reserved.

Coping Through the Holidays: Gentle Strategies for a Complicated Season


Coping Through the Holidays: Gentle Strategies for a Complicated Season

The holidays are often described as joyful, magical, and full of connection. And for many people, they also bring grief, stress, loneliness, family tension, financial pressure, or emotional overload. If the holidays feel hard for you, you are not doing them “wrong.” You are human.

As clinicians, we see every year how this season can amplify what already exists—both the good and the painful. The goal of coping through the holidays isn’t to force gratitude or happiness. It’s to move through this time with as much care, self-compassion, and intention as possible.

1. Release the Myth of “How It’s Supposed to Feel”

There is no universal holiday experience. Some people feel joy and connection. Others feel sadness, numbness, or grief. Many feel a mix of all of it at once. Try to notice when you’re comparing your internal experience to an external expectation—and gently let that comparison go.

You are allowed to have your own version of the holidays.

2. Set Boundaries Without Over-Explaining

Boundaries are not punishments; they are acts of self-respect. You may need to:

  • Limit time at gatherings

  • Skip certain traditions

  • Say no to conversations that feel unsafe or invasive

You do not owe long explanations for protecting your emotional well-being. A simple “That doesn’t work for me this year” is enough.

3. Plan for Emotional Hot Spots

If you know certain moments are harder—specific people, days, or memories—plan ahead. This might mean:

  • Having an exit plan

  • Scheduling something grounding afterward

  • Checking in with a supportive person

  • Giving yourself permission to leave early

Preparation can reduce the intensity of emotional overwhelm.

4. Allow Grief to Coexist With the Season

Grief doesn’t pause for holidays. It may even feel louder during them. If you’re grieving a person, a relationship, health, financial stability, or a version of life you expected—acknowledge it.

You can honor what’s missing while still engaging in what feels tolerable or meaningful. There is room for both.

5. Choose One Thing That Feels Regulating

Instead of trying to “get through everything,” choose one grounding anchor each day:

  • A walk

  • A familiar show

  • Journaling

  • Creating something

  • Quiet time before or after gatherings

Small, consistent regulation matters more than big, forced joy.

6. Remember: Coping Is Not Failing

Needing support, rest, or extra care during the holidays is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of awareness. Therapy, connection, and self-reflection are tools—not evidence that something is wrong with you.

You are allowed to move through this season at your own pace.


A Gentle Reminder

If the holidays feel heavy, you are not alone—and you don’t have to carry it all quietly. Support exists, and you deserve care that meets you where you are, without judgment.

However this season looks for you, may you treat yourself with the same compassion you so easily offer others.

frey & associates: Offering virtual mental health therapy and counseling across Illinois. Specializing in anxiety, depression, couples counseling, and relationship and health-focused therapy. Virtual therapy offers convenient, accessible mental health support from the comfort of your own space. Our approach is engaging, active, and solution-focused to help clients build lasting change and emotional well-being. Learn more here; book a free consult today.

Copyright © Melissa A. Frey, LCSW 2025. All rights reserved.

preserving your energy: a gentle reminder

Preserving Your Energy: A Gentle Reminder

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to give our time, attention, and care away without much thought. We say yes when we mean no. We push through exhaustion. We prioritize others while forgetting our own needs. Over time, this leaves us feeling depleted, resentful, or disconnected from ourselves.

Preserving your energy isn’t selfish—it’s self-respect. It means noticing what drains you and what replenishes you. It’s learning to set boundaries, choosing relationships that nurture you, and creating space for rest without guilt.
Ask yourself: Where is my energy flowing? Do these commitments, people, or habits leave me feeling heavier or lighter? Your answers can be powerful guides.

When you treat your energy like the rare, precious resource it is, you create more room for what truly matters: joy, connection, peace, and growth.

frey & associates: Offering virtual mental health therapy and counseling across Illinois. Specializing in anxiety, depression, couples counseling, and relationship and health-focused therapy. Virtual therapy offers convenient, accessible mental health support from the comfort of your own space. Our approach is engaging, active, and solution-focused to help clients build lasting change and emotional well-being. Learn more here; book a free consult today.

Copyright © Melissa A. Frey, LCSW 2025. All rights reserved.

how therapy helps you return to yourself

How Therapy Helps You Return to Yourself

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s common to feel disconnected from who you truly are. Between family responsibilities, work demands, and the weight of past experiences, many people start to feel lost or unsure of themselves. You might notice that your inner voice feels quieter, or that you’re living more for the expectations of others than for your own values.

Therapy provides a space to pause, reflect, and reconnect. In the safe, supportive environment of counseling, you’re invited to explore your emotions, beliefs, and patterns without judgment. Instead of trying to “fix” yourself, therapy helps you remember what has always been within you—your strengths, your clarity, and your resilience.

Therapy as a Path Back to Self

  • Self-discovery: Talking with a therapist can reveal values, hopes, and needs you may have overlooked.

  • Healing old wounds: Past experiences often shape how we see ourselves. Therapy helps untangle those stories so you can carry them differently.

  • Building confidence: By practicing self-compassion and new coping strategies, you learn to trust your inner wisdom.

  • Living authentically: Therapy supports you in aligning your choices with what truly matters to you.

Healing doesn’t mean becoming someone new. It means coming home to yourself with more awareness, compassion, and confidence.

frey & associates: Offering virtual mental health therapy and counseling across Illinois. Specializing in anxiety, depression, couples counseling, and relationship and health-focused therapy. Virtual therapy offers convenient, accessible mental health support from the comfort of your own space. Our approach is engaging, active, and solution-focused to help clients build lasting change and emotional well-being. Learn more here; book a free consult today.

Copyright © Melissa A. Frey, LCSW 2025. All rights reserved.

exercises for calming the nervous system

Exercises for calming the nervous system are important because they helps the body shift out of survival mode and into a state of balance and healing. Here’s why that matters:

1. Reduces Stress and Anxiety

When you’re constantly in “fight or flight” (sympathetic nervous system), your body is flooded with stress hormones like cortisol. Calming the nervous system activates the “rest and digest” mode (parasympathetic nervous system), which lowers these hormones and helps you feel more at ease.

2. Improves Sleep

A calm nervous system allows your body and mind to relax enough to fall asleep and stay asleep, improving both the quality and quantity of your rest.

3. Supports Emotional Regulation

When the nervous system is regulated, you’re better able to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively. This helps with mood stability, focus, and relationships.

4. Enhances Physical Health

Chronic stress can contribute to inflammation, high blood pressure, digestive problems, and a weakened immune system. Calming the nervous system helps prevent or reduce these physical health issues.

5. Encourages Healing and Recovery

Your body needs a calm state to repair itself—whether it’s healing from an illness, injury, or emotional stress. A regulated nervous system creates the right conditions for recovery.


In short, a calm nervous system is the foundation for mental clarity, emotional resilience, physical health, and overall well-being.


Here’s a simple at-home breathing exercise to help with calming your system:

1. Find a Comfortable Position
Sit or lie down in a quiet space. Close your eyes if you feel comfortable.

2. Ground Yourself
Gently place one hand on your chest and the other on your belly.

3. Inhale Slowly
Breathe in through your nose for a count of 4, feeling your belly rise.

4. Hold
Hold your breath for a count of 4 (don’t strain—just a gentle pause).

5. Exhale Slowly
Breathe out through your mouth for a count of 6, letting your body soften.

6. Repeat
Continue this cycle for 3–5 minutes, or as long as feels good. Focus on the rhythm of your breath and the feeling of calm spreading through your body.


You can do this anytime—before bed, during a break, or whenever you need to reset. Additional information and exercises can be found here.

frey & associates: Offering virtual mental health therapy and counseling across Illinois. Specializing in anxiety, depression, couples counseling, and relationship and health-focused therapy. Virtual therapy offers convenient, accessible mental health support from the comfort of your own space. Our approach is engaging, active, and solution-focused to help clients build lasting change and emotional well-being. Learn more here; book a free consult today.

Copyright © Melissa A. Frey, LCSW 2025. All rights reserved.

mindful moment

Spring is a gentle reminder that no matter how long the winter, everything eventually always blooms with the light.

Spring arrives not just in the blossoms on trees or the warmth in the breeze, but in the quiet courage it takes to begin again. After every season of stillness, nature shows us how to rise—gently, boldly, and in full color. Let this be the season you stretch toward the sun, plant new dreams, and believe in your own blooming.

Copyright © Melissa A. Frey, LCSW 2025. All rights reserved. 

spring cleaning: making room for new experiences

Spring Cleaning: Making Room for New Experiences

As the seasons change and the days grow longer, there’s an undeniable urge to refresh our surroundings. Spring cleaning isn’t just about decluttering our homes—it’s about making space for growth, new opportunities, and fresh experiences. Whether it’s clearing out your closet, reorganizing your digital life, or letting go of emotional baggage, the act of cleaning can be incredibly freeing and transformative.

Letting Go of Emotional Clutter

Spring cleaning isn’t just about the tangible—it’s also about clearing out mental and emotional space. Letting go of people pleasing, unrealistic expectations, self-doubt, or whatever goals speak to you this season. Journaling, meditation, talking to a trusted friend, and/or connecting with your therapist can help you process emotions and make way for new, positive experiences. When we release what no longer serves us, we create room for joy, adventure, and personal growth.

Get Started: Reset and Realign

Spring cleaning is more than just a seasonal chore; it’s a powerful way to reset and realign with your goals. By letting go of the old, you open yourself up to the beauty of new possibilities. Refresh your surroundings, and step into a season of renewal and growth; ready to get started, reach out today.

Copyright © Melissa A. Frey, LCSW 2025. All rights reserved.

mindful moment

Things Get Better: The Power of Resilience

Life has a way of throwing challenges at us—some expected, some completely out of the blue. When you’re in the middle of a tough time, it can feel like things will never improve. However, nothing stays the same forever. Just like the seasons change, so do our struggles.

Resilience isn’t about never feeling pain; it’s about learning to cope with it. It’s about reminding yourself that you’ve survived difficult moments before and that you have the strength to do it again.

No matter how hard things feel right now, they won’t always be this way. The weight will get lighter, the storm will pass, and you’ll come out stronger on the other side. Hold on, take it one step at a time, and trust that better days are ahead. You are stronger than you know.

as the end of the year approaches…

As the year comes to a close, it’s tempting to get caught up in the rush—finishing projects, planning celebrations, or setting resolutions. But before diving into what’s next, let’s take a moment to pause and end the year with mindfulness. Here’s how you can reflect, recharge, and renew for a meaningful transition into the new year.

Reflect: Look Back with Gratitude and Clarity

Take some time to sit quietly and reflect on the past year. Ask yourself:

  • What moments brought me joy?
  • What challenges taught me something valuable?
  • Who or what am I grateful for?

Recharge: Prioritize Rest and Self-Care

The holiday season can be hectic, so make it a priority to slow down.

  • Schedule moments of rest—curl up with a good book, take a walk in nature, or meditate.
  • Nourish your body with healthy meals and stay hydrated.
  • Say “no” to things that don’t align with your energy or priorities right now.

Recharging isn’t about doing nothing; it’s about giving yourself the space to breathe and reset.

Renew: Set Intentions, Not Resolutions

Instead of rigid resolutions, try setting gentle intentions that focus on how you want to feel or grow. For example:

  • “I intend to prioritize my mental health by practicing daily mindfulness.”
  • “I aim to nurture my relationships by being more present.”

These intentions allow room for flexibility and kindness, guiding you into the new year with purpose instead of pressure.

As the end of the year approaches…

The end of the year is not a finish line but a moment to pause and celebrate your journey. You’ve navigated ups and downs, grown in ways you might not even realize, and made it through another year—an accomplishment in itself.

As you close out this chapter, remember to approach yourself with kindness and gratitude. Here’s to a mindful end of the year.

Copyright © Melissa A. Frey, LCSW 2024. All rights reserved.

mindful moment

Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.

-Carl Jung

mindful moment

Warm Summer Sun by Mark Twain

Warm summer sun,
Shine kindly here,
Warm southern wind,
Blow softly here.
Green sod above,
Lie light, lie light.
Good night, dear heart,
Good night, good night.

Melissa: welcoming spring

Finally, Spring has arrived! Spring, often thought of as as season of renewal, brings fresh air, sun, light, and growth.

In honor of Spring having finally begun in the Midwest, below is a poem by the poet Ava Lemon that so beautifully captures the spirit of the season.

Instructions on Not Giving Up by Ada Limón

More than the fuchsia funnels breaking out
of the crabapple tree, more than the neighbor’s
almost obscene display of cherry limbs shoving
their cotton candy-colored blossoms to the slate
sky of Spring rains, it’s the greening of the trees
that really gets to me. When all the shock of white
and taffy, the world’s baubles and trinkets, leave
the pavement strewn with the confetti of aftermath,
the leaves come. Patient, plodding, a green skin
growing over whatever winter did to us, a return
to the strange idea of continuous living despite
the mess of us, the hurt, the empty. Fine then,
I’ll take it, the tree seems to say, a new slick leaf
unfurling like a fist to an open palm, I’ll take it all.

Melissa: social media breaks

Around the time of a new year, many of us think through how to best consider changes in our behaviors and actions. On many lists of “changes to make” is considering a break or a slowing down of usage of social media. Not sure if that would be for you? A piece from Harvard helps people evaluate when a break from social media might be worth considering:

“Recognizing When You Need a Break

Considering all of the above, you may be ready for a break. Ask yourself the following questions if you think it’s time to reevaluate your relationship with social media:

  • Do you come away from your interactions on social media feeling inspired, informed, and positive? Or are you drained, saddened, frustrated, overwhelmed, depressed, anxious, angry, or negative?
  • Do you find yourself on a social media app, yet don’t remember picking up your phone and tapping on the app?
  • Is the amount of time you’re spending on social media taking away from time you used to spend with friends or family, doing schoolwork, or doing other productive activities?
  • Are you constantly comparing your life to the lives you see on social media, and think that you could never “catch up”?
  • Have any friends or family members expressed concern that you’re on social media too much, or that you talk about what you see there too much?
  • Do you have more activities and relationships in real life, or do you conduct most of your life on social media?
  • Do you just have a feeling you need to take a break, but aren’t sure how?”

If any of those questions resonate with you, it might be worth reading into the article further here.

Remember: always progress over perfection!

Copyright © Melissa A. Frey, LCSW 2024. All rights reserved.

mindful moment

The Road Not Taken
by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

melissa: meditation and anxiety apps

We often get questions about options for apps that can assist in mindfulness, meditation, and overall anxiety management. To save our clients the leg work, we have a list of resources on this page of our website. I particularly like the app Simple Habit, which has a free version and also an option that allows you to pick a specific stressor or goal paired with a targeted guided meditation. I also like the app Down Dog for free yoga instruction, which can be targeted for the level of yoga and duration of time you’d like to use it for.

With so many options for apps, it can be easy to overlook that there are also a lot of options for mental health and wellness podcasts to listen to as well. We list podcasts this page of our website as well, and there are plenty more that are released and up and coming that can be found, for example, here and here. Lastly, there are additional app reviews and options here and here, should you want to read more! The possibilities are endless- happy listening!

Copyright © Melissa A. Frey, LCSW 2023. All rights reserved.